First off:

Neptunebaby2 is my hero! He/She liked my banner, and he/she SIGNED my GUESTBOOK!! Mother Mary Of God, Someone likes me!

Second off:

As I sit here pondering life's many trivial questions, like, why do they insist on making tapioca look like maggots? or why coke and pepsi have to be brown? Or why two stupid sucky computer companies would merge together (compaq and hewitt) to make one big stupid lame-o gay computer, I'm listening to Something Corporate for the like nineteenth billionith time today, trying to wind down after a CRAZY FRAZY day at work. And I think about how weird it is that people are clicking on a banner, that I designed in like 10 minutes, and they are reading what I write on these electronic pages. I mean, I think it is totally cool. There are so many ideas I have for this diary, but I just can't figure out which angle to go with so I'm going to go with all the angles I think of. I will occasionally put pictures up, but I have to get a better digital camera before I can really get into that. Did you know that when I was in High School I wanted to be a PhotoJOURNAList?

you don't believe me?

Yeah, Really I did.

But they I got pregnant my Senior year, and I have a wonderful daughter. So, instead I'm going to school for Psychology. (A photojournalist usually has to travel, so WHIP that one out of the bag and throw it away) I sometimes joke how when Sydney, (my daughter) is in college, I'm going to go back to college, I'll be like 40 or something, I'm going to get my photojournalist degree. HAHA! I'll be a manicuring psychologist that travels as a photojournalist. (it could work!)

Britney Spears thought she was pregnant don't ya know? Wouldn't that have been a riot?? 12 year olds and up would have wanted to get pregnant because that's what BRITNEY's doing! Please mummy, please??? I just want to be like that super media slut Britney!!!!

Forgive me, I dislike.

Anyways, Nathan and I did that usual Tuesday night KFC, Fazoli's and sex thing. It was an alright evening. I think we might be going out Friday with my friends Aaron and Jen, (a double date) we are going to go to Bravo! (the closest you can get to real italian in Ohio) Lame... I know. Good food, but high prices.

Nathan claims he doesn't read this, but I doubt that he really doesn't read it. If he had an online diary where he posted all his feelings for all the world to see I'd read all the time. But he'd never do anything as intellectual as this, no, he's into Married with Children, porn, and gambling!

Who wants to jump on the sin wagon with mr nate?

WE DO WE DO says all the little people from the wizard of oz.

But do we have to wear those stupid hats?

Blah. Random shit. If he reads that he will get so pissed at me. I think I should care, and I actually do. I just prefer for him to believe that I feel the way he feels. I feel like Oh, my, I'm getting serious now, I feel like if I let out how I care now, he'll walk all over me again, and fuck up again. It's okay though, I have ways of finding things out, and I swear if anything happens again we are DONE. As done as you can get, like WWII FIVE ATOM bombs done.

I won't give my heart up to get stomped on again. A friend of mine named Justin, a wise friend I might add, once said, you can't change someone. And you can't make someone love you, and he's right. So, we'll just see if he can love me himself, and change himself, and if that can't happen, then we can't happen.

That sounds so horrid. I don't mean it like it sounds, everything is going pretty good for now. I'm just waiting to see what's going to happen. It's like I'm on this lake, in a boat, and on both shores there are horrible things that eat humans, and I'm debating on which one is safer, cause either way I go there is potential for getting hurt if I get caught on the shores you know?

*shrug & sigh*

By the way, Prince William is the Anti-Christ, this is a someone's theory. Who knows.. it will be crazy in the end. Are you ready?

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02