.the diary of erika rice.
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.im.good.friend.
11.25.02 || 12:06 am

so, ur b/f encourage the whole bi thing?

xxspookyheartxx: no

: or does he know?

xxspookyheartxx: but at this point

xxspookyheartxx: i really don't care about what he thinks

xxspookyheartxx: he knows

xxspookyheartxx: i told him about four months ago

what was his reaction?

xxspookyheartxx: he said he thinks of it as cheating

xxspookyheartxx: i dunno

xxspookyheartxx: it's strange he and i

xxspookyheartxx: he really fucked up this time

xxspookyheartxx: with me

xxspookyheartxx: and i hate him at times

xxspookyheartxx: and i love him at times

iam sorry to hear that

i know what u mean

xxspookyheartxx: but i hate him more times than i love him

hard

xxspookyheartxx: i dunno.. it'd be easier to be without him i guess

i wonder why some guys are so insecure about another woman?

xxspookyheartxx: i'd rather be sad and alone and depressed than be with him at this point

it is hard to let go, tho

xxspookyheartxx: at least if i'm sad, i'm feeling something

yeah, i was in a relationship like that once and it truly nearly killed me; sometimes you have to decide if you want to be happy ever again or not

xxspookyheartxx: ... it's just difficult. we had so much

xxspookyheartxx: but it's all gone

xxspookyheartxx: i feel nothing at this point

and sometimes it seems like the only way to do it is to first of all make yourself sad by splitting

xxspookyheartxx: and what i sometimes feel is what's left of what he destroyed

that is a bad point...i know exactly what u mean

xxspookyheartxx: oh well

i think if the other person does not give u their all you can grow weary with a relationship

well, it sounds like you are a great mum

xxspookyheartxx: it's not that he's not giving all now.. he just didn't give it all when i was giving it all

xxspookyheartxx: and now i'm worn... and tired.. and not wanting to deal with the past anymore..

xxspookyheartxx: and how he just expects me to forget.. about the four times he lied

like too little too late?

xxspookyheartxx: yeah

xxspookyheartxx: like way too little too late

yeah, i understand; sometimes (for me) it was like even if i knew everything would (for the most part) be ok, it was still to late

the damage was done

*too

xxspookyheartxx: yeah




past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02


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