Today sucks horrible ass. With the events of the night before today in my head i can hardly keep it together. Not like he would even care. At all. He didn't even call me today. Like he deliberatly wants me to be upset. I feel like such a fool. I'm so stupid.

To think..... he could be like he was before. His normal self. He's changed... transformed into this person that I don't even know. Uncaring... I'm unable to trust him now. I can't continue to put myself out on the line to be hurt anymore. If i end it.. who's to say he'll come back to me a changed and better man? I really don't even think he'd care. I think he wants me to go away sometimes. Like he's pushing me away on purpose. This sucks......

I can't even begin to explain how much I hurt. I need to quit writing right now b/c it's not helping.. it's making me think about it and it's making it worse.........

what am i going to do?

I still feel like giving up is NOT an option. All psychologists say that giving up is not healthy. This can't be either tho. :(

*tears tears tears*

e

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02