Everytime the phone would ring the feeling in her stomach was enough to make her feel sick. When the phone wasn't for her the feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness would was over her again and she would think about how horrible and pathetic her life had become.

When she finally contacted him, she didn't know what to say. She felt so confused, she couldn't cry, but her stomach was in knots and she just wanted to die. She felt as if her heart were crushing her lungs, that she could sleep or cry forever. That there was nothing left to live for. Utterly and completely depressed.

When he finally came back she felt uncertain, untrusting, unknown, disapointed, and so very sad.

When she walked in with him on the phone with "her" she had had enough. She felt like someone was deliberatly sticking an ice pick through her cold cold heart. As she drove away she felt as if the whole world was against her.

The only thing that helps her cope with her depression is writing. When she gets everything out she feels better... until the next time something horrid happens.. and then she writes again.

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

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