I've come to the conclusion that my relationship is over. He's not the person I want him to be and he won't ever be. I've obviously not tried hard enough. *sarcastic laugh*

.BullShit.

I've tried harder to make this relationship work than I've worked on anything else. It's a fact that all we are doing now is delaying the inevitable. I don't trust him because he was a fucking liar to my face, he doesn't trust me because I hurt him in the past. I want him to prove to me that I can trust him and that he can START after three months to care about me, but to achieve this he has to open up. He doensn't want to open up because I piss him off by not trusting him. CONCLUSION: A DEAD END.

No where to go. I'm not willing to give anymore, I've given enough. He's not willing to give anymore, he's been hurt enough. Well I've been hurt too. What he fails to see are the things he has done wrong and realize why I now feel the way I do. I can admit that what I did was wrong, and that what he feels is natural in response to MY wrongs. hrumpf. There's nothing else to do.

Stop hounding me he says. It's only been three months. Blah.

Whatever. You can be such an inconsiderate asshole. And to think I put it all on the line to try to work this out again. I've gotten scarred, and hurt, and my self-esteem has plumeted. I swear, I've even told him how I'm starting to not care anymore. And that if he leaves, I'm not going to stop him. I'm tired of getting hurt and being lied to. I can be suspicious, he's given me reason.

He won't even prove the so-called "truth" to me.

I hope he's leaving, it's over.

I hate feeling like this. It kills me to tell him to go. But it has to be done.

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02