you wouldn't fucking believe the weekend i've had. it's funny, you know, how on friday you can be so happy that the weekend is finally here, the time to "relax" and have "fun". What a fucking joke for me this assumption has been. My fucking mouth has hurt all weekend, so, to make it not hurt, i've been taking pain medication, not just advil, no, actually moving up to Vicodin and Darvoset. So when I'm not in pain, I'm feeling rather relaxed, and if I'm too relaxed I feel like I'm going to puke up my guts. It doesn't particularly help to smoke, although, with the weekends events, smoking would have been extremely helpful. You see, nathan lied to me again. And Again.

He's going to change he says. I have my hopes.. and doubts. I can't help but feel like a broken record. This time, I say, this time is different.

This time is the LAST Time I keep saying. When is the last time really going to be the last time?

I think that maybe I should believe him, seeing as I did actually "Leave" him, and he knew I ment business. There's still the gambling problem, that he claims isn't a problem, ha ha, at least it isn't yet.

sigh.

i love nathan, more than he could ever know. but i can't stand being lied to, over and over and over again. I feel like I keep letting down a little more of my guard, and pretty soon, I'm going to let him get away with anything.

sigh

anyways.

till tomorrow

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02