dear friend,

tonight i saw you, and the words just couldn't come. you have changed so much since i first met you, and now look at what we have become. we are no longer buddies, we are no longer pals. I no longer look foward to tuesday night karaokee and drinking with you. as you might know, i do not make friends easily. Why? i do not know, whether it be my "bitchiness" as my ex best friend, but your fuck buddy might say, or my reluctance to warm up to people, to trust. i apologize for all the times you may have needed me and i was not there. i would have lended my shoulder if you needed it. i have all these old memories that seem so long forgotten by you. our one night staying up till 8am talking, smoking, just you and i. relating, opening, connecting.

now that connection has been severed. i do not know if i would wish to be friends with you if you decide to contact me, but know one thing... i do care, and i do wish you cared too. maybe i come off as cold and heartless, i try to prove that i cannot be hurt, but trust me, i hurt, i cry, and i reminise. i saw you tonight friend, and how i wanted to hug you, to talk to you, to open up to you, for you to tell me how you were, how you feel, how life for you is going. My fear of rejection, of what you would do if you knew all these things, is what holds me back. Oh, just one more thing, if you should care...

I Miss You.

xoxo,

Erika

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02