For some odd reason I feel utterly depressed. Like I could just listen to FSF and crawl up on my bed and cry forever. I'm supposed to go up to see nathan here soon. I really don't know why I feel this way. Like my heart is crushing my lungs.. it's falling apart. Like my chest isn't big enough for my heart, it's swollen. Giving love and not feeling loved is a horrible thing. I could just cry. My grandpa is doing great. They are leaving tomorrow for a fly in thing in Indianapolis. How I hate Indianapolis, just the word makes my stomach roll. Kinda like a certain name does too.. and so does talking about Taco Bell, after all, that is what she said they were going to chater their wedding with. Puke. My heart hurts so bad.

If my heart could cry it would be. I feel so completely miserable.

Tears fall from the sky, only God knows how much those tears should be coming from my eyes. My breathing is labored with grief. My eyes are rimming with blood shot tears. My lips tremble with sobs not to come. I could break right now. Just break right in two, or three, or millions of peices. I hate this feeling.. hate it hate it hate it. I'm so insecure... suspicious.... I clench my teeth so hard my jaw hurts and I get migraines. Is there anything a doctor could do? Please, cut out my optic nerves, or maybe my sensory nerve.

Help.....

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02