so here i am in flordia. i never can spell this stupid state name right. so far, i've been no place especially exciting. except o'hara airport, that was nice. the most exceptional part of my trip has been meeting andrea. i considered renting a car and driving to the ocean tomorrow, but alas, i am not going to ask one of these nice people to drive my ass all the way back to Orlando Airport so that i can rent a car. i am tired, i have been listening to onelinedrawing. fuck me wonderful. i miss sydney, and nathan. (yes, i miss nathan in an emotional, and sexual way) lmao.

i often think too much when i go places, or when i am alone with nothing to do. my mother doesn't love me. she doesn't care. quite frankly, i believe i cause my mother a lot of unwelcome frustration. she can't even think of me without becoming pissed or mean. she can't hear my voice without becoming disapointed. how sad is that? considering after my two most stable people die, (sob) my grandparents) all i'll have is sydney. perhaps my mother will be sane by then. (i'd bet my life not)

on a better note, i get to go home to sydney on tuesday, and my glasses should be at the eye place. and i'll have wednesday, thursday, and friday to spend with her! *yaye*

Maybe I can get my grandma to wall paper my room when i get back!!! that would rock.

andrea and scott have the cutest damn cats ever! even though they woke me up this morning, playing with my sheets, feet, bag. it has been quite enjoyable. for the first time ever i had lo mein. yummy.

i also decided that starting wednesday morning, i am going to get up early, go outside, walk/run, for a half hour (building up to 1 hour) and eat better food choices.

i need to lose weight. need need need.

have have have.

i'm so tired of being unhealthy. i'm only fucking 21.

also.. thinking about not drinking again. ever.

it's an option. when i reach my target weight. i'm going to get a tattoo of a spooky heart somewhere hideable. (good idea)

dash makes me wanna cry.. he's talented. but fuck me.. the webpage looks like a modeling portfolio.

.:.blah.:.

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02