I met some really cool people last night. I went and saw the blue collar society and I saw my brother and his friends play together for the first time, It twas FUCKING AWESOME. My brother is so god damned fucking talented its not funny, not to mention, his counter part Brandon is just as good. Luke, a kid, I had not met, nor ever heard of played bass, and he handled the pressure quite well for his first time. :) Roxing sox kiddos. Go check em out. You won't be able to get enough of Levi and Brandon. Okay, on another note, I met and got more accquainted with Amanda, Levi's friend, and now my friend. She's really talented, and god, I wish I could do something. All these people who can do stuff, she draws, awesome, and damn, levi can sing and play guitar, all these people who have talent, something they are passionate about that they love. I have nothing.

I am not good at anything. I guess. I can't find anything. Maybe I should try things until I find something. I love photography and art, and music, but I just can't find anything that I can do that I love!!!!! Grrr~! I love to write, but I don't believe I am good at it. Something is going on with me, I'm not sure what it is, but something is going on. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm feeling better these days. Nathan and I are on the same page now. So things aren't so "skitter-skatter." My job is going, well, good. Mood is elevated, unless I'm tired. I've come into contact with old friends, and my BESTEST friend Carolyn is Pregnant again!!! :) She is due august 11th! I'm so happy for her. I bought some new make up, I'm going to join weight watchers, I just feel better all around you know? Not so fucking down. I'm spending enough time with Sydney, so I don't feel bad or like I'm neglecting her. She is growing up so fast, it's scary! Before I know it she's going to be asking for the credit cards to go shopping!!! Damn!

I'm trying to work on improving the relationships around me, I feel that improving them might help in improving myself as well. I got my little awesome brother a job here at my work. He's doing well I hear. Ummmm. I cannot think of anything else. Okay.. there is one other thing, there was this guy at work, he asked me "are those real" I assumed he was talking about my breasts.....

so I talked to this other girl here at work, and she said that he does stuff to some of the other girls, like smacks their butts, and such. So I told my boss, because I don't want him to ever touch me, because then I will have to punch him the in fucking asophogus. So.. I just said hi to him this morning, and he ignored me. SO if this is how it's going to be, fine. Stupid fuckers. Perverted assholes. I swear, like I paid to have this much on my CHEST. I was 'blessed or cursed' what ever you want to call it. People talk about it like I can help it, man, your breasts are huge, I'm like, and do you think I asked God, Please God, give me gargantious (sp?) so that men and women will stare at them instead of my face. One other thing, fax machines call me here at work, and it fucking sucks. I could yell into the phone..... QUIT CALLING ME YOU EVIL THINGS. I'll bet its OUR fax machine and he's fucking with me, and calling the phone, because I demand so much of him.

anyways.. that's enough for now....... download that music please???

;) xoxo e

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02