I review for my review site, and I got called "insensitive". haha. Okay. So from now on, I'm going to be a super bitch when reviewing. I'm not going to say anything encouraging or nice at all. All out review bitchness. Yeah. Look out.

This week has been all right. I was so sick last night it's not even funny. My job has been going all right. This week has been the week from hell though. I can't wait till the other girl who helps with my job leaves (tomorrow is her last day) so I can have a fucking desk and a normal day. I want to move away so bad. Nathan's uncle George said that when I turn 21 at the end of this month I could get a job with labcorp doing currier (sp?) services for medical lab shit. They give you a new car, pay for gas, you get the car serviced by them, you get paid 9-10 dollars an hour, AND all they take out of your check for the car is like 70 dollars a month. Umm. Yeah. And the other GREAT part about it is that I can get the job here. Work for awhile, and TRANSFER TO LAB CORP in CONNECTICUT! (Oh, and the new car they would give me would be an aero.. haha.. one of my ALL TIME favorites)

*sigh*

I'm not too happy with my new job. The one girl Jennifer is kind of bitchy, (she's also pregnant) and Cheryl is nice, but she's kind of "old orderish". She wears a bonnet thingy and dresses all the time. She�s super nice though. I just don't really click with any of them. I dunno. Maybe I feel frustrated because i've never done work like this before and I'm unhappy because I don't know it all "right now" like I usually do. The other neat thing about working for lab corp. is that I can go to school in the mornings. :) That�s super awesome. George said the hours I would probably work would be 12-8. (Not bad)

I don't know. Everything is just kind of "there". Not particularly happy, not particularly sad. Nathan is all right. We are doing okay. I just don't feel as "into" the relationship as I once did. All the shit that has happened has affected me and not sure if I can get past it or not. I'm really really not good with people lying to me....

One of the things I don't like about my new job is that you see what age does to people. These people that I see every day have had their lives, and now life is slowly taking it back away from them. It�s horrible what time does to you. Someone said to me, wouldn't it be neat to be like a gold fish, everything would seem new and exciting every day. I just thought that that was awesome. What a great idea. Even if everything couldn't be "new and exciting" for real everyday, you could behave like it is. I don't know.. I ramble.

My 21st birthday is coming up.. buy me something off my wish list. you know you want to. Or send me a $2 dollar certificates... lol. That could add up to a book if enough people pitch in. lol. I really need that solitude book in my wish list. It�d be nice. I could get rid of all this negative energy and such around me. I wish there were a step by step guide on how to make it on your own with a child. Things would be so much easier then. Perhaps I should write one.

I cannot wait to get into psychology studies.... oh god.. how I cannot wait. to help children.. to work with children.. To study theories and concepts... to fill my brain to capacity with information on complexes and strategies. oh god.. the joy.. the joy.

My 21st birthday.... Why am I not excited? Perhaps it's because I have no friends. I have two people I consider "good friends" Carolyn.. She�s just had her second child, and she's married.. I couldn't get a hold of her if I was dieing.. And Andrea.. Who lives in Florida.. and who is busy with her own life. (I have no time to talk to her either.. :( our conflicting schedules)

Perhaps I should rent a taxi, get drunk by myself at some bar, and have the taxi bring me home. Haha.

Who knows?

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02