i spent last evening and night at my step dad's house. i was enjoying a nice relaxing evening with sydney and nathan, and my grandfather comes upstairs, and i'm like.. what's going on? (He never comes upstairs) and he sits down on my bed with sydney and i, and he goes

your mom filed for a divorce.

the first thing i said was, sydney, do you want to go see papaw ed? so she and i went over there, and bless her heart, she wanted to come home to sleep so bad, she said, go home mommy, go home. :( but i wanted to make sure ed knew that sydney and i were there, and would always be there. i also had a long talk with my mother, i was prepared to go over there and just go off on her, but i prayed, and i approached it with calm and support. (well.. as much support as i could) it turns out she filed for divorce on sept 1st, or 2nd. the day after my birthday. ............

she said, i need you, don't push me away, she's already pushed me away

I told her that i was going to try to help her, and she goes, will you? will you support me ? (like emotionally) and i said, I can't promise you anything. because i think what you are doing is very wrong.

::sigh::

my chest still hurts, and i still cannot breathe... inhale.. ahh.

not able to get full breaths still... i will call the dr on the way to work, they open at 730. i'm just glad today is pay day and it's half a day for me.

it's the kind of shit like what my mom pulls that makes me want to pull out of every non-family relationship i have. i don't want someone to do to me what my ignorant mother is doing to my dad.

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02