the phone just keeps ringing downstairs. my grandma KNOWS i'm upstairs, and that i am not racing downstairs to answer it, so she just lets it ring till the answering machine kicks on and then she runs for it. i swear. it could be a new fucking game. who can get to the phone first, but try to answer it last. grrrrrrrrr.

today nathan forgot that he was supposed to meet me at the park for lunch, i see him drive by, and i think, what the fuck? so i put my car in 1st gear going to leave, and here he comes back. this big story about how the guys at work asked him to go to Wendy's with him for lunch, he said yes, HE HATES WENDY'S, HE WON'T EVEN EAT THERE WITH ME and how when he was driving with them in the car next to the park, he remembered that he was supposed to meet me for lunch. HAHAHA. What a funny joke.

that's the kinda shit that pisses me off I don't take him lunch everyday.. and GOD DAMN IT THERES THE FUCKING PHONE AGAIN. Holy shit, she got it on the second ring. *rolls eyes* i need to go clean out my car, and i also need to use my mummy dearest-es credit card to order some new clothes for my new job monday. *yeah*

i really wish i could color my hair some wild color, like bright red, or something.. but i am unable too due to my "responsibilities" just like I can't have a motor cycle because of my "responsibilities". Blah. it's not like i'm going to go out and kill myself on a motorcycle.

my grandma asked me today if i had re-applied for my financial aid, i was like.. uh huh... i had to do that in january... why the sudden fucking intrest? then.. she's like.. well.. did you get your fall classes taken care of? i'm like.. yeah... grandma.. i took care of it. *grrrr*

my back hurts like a mo-fo, i've been going to bed way too fucking late, i'm tired all the time, and i need to get my FAT FUCKING ASS skinny. in order to do that i need to exercise.

(silence)

i hate exercising. i really really really want a miracle. i want to be that size 12 i was when i was ten? fuck if i can remember ever being skinny, pretty, anything.

that really sucks.

today really sucks.

i'm going to go clean out my car now.

past | present

Bledgirlblue - 2003

2002 Review - 12.20.02

.end.password.blows. - 12.04.02

.nothing.fuck.it. - 11.25.02

.im.good.friend. - 11.25.02